I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
