I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize