Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
