she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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