You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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