Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
