@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize