We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
