My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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