I want to stick my p in your. b.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
