I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Houston, we have a squirter
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
