I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
