why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
