My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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