then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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