Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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