Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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