When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
