If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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