Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
operation harelip BJ is a go
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Damn victory sex feels great
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
