If i come over, it means nothing
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize