So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
