do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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