I just saw a hot homeless man
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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