First date: that requires underwear, huh?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
