Capitaan dildo arrescate!
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
