Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
