I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
