Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
