just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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