I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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