I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
