She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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