i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Pooping to opera.
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