you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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