You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize