I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
