I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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