wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
