This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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