I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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