he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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