the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
