can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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