weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
