Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
