STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
