Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
