I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
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