Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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