"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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