I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
