Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
