I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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