shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
