It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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