sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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