i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
