They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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