While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The power of my boobs compel you
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
