Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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