Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
