she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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