Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
